The Homebrew Noob Strikes Again
I managed to scrape together the time to start my second batch of homebrew.  I've been putting this one off due to holidays and busy weekends, until this past Sunday I realized that I was finishing off the last of the local grass-fed cow in my freezer.  The cow that I had picked up at the same time as the brewing supplies!  Yeesh.  Three months delay...I hope none of the ingredients have gone stale.

Beer Plagiarism
This batch is brewed with a copycat recipe* I copied like a wizard's apprentice from a book at the beer supply store.  I chose to go for an Old Speckled Hen recipe.  My first batch was a hop-heavy, big-flavor double Belgian style, so this time I wanted something with more genteel character.  The commercial version is one of my favorite session beers.  It's drinkable as hell and is the perfect complement to any number of meals--though it pairs better with milder fair than with hot curry or Mexican.

I will admit that I was a little haphazard (a 2008 Republican might say "mavericky" instead) with the portion sizes.  If it called for a half-ounce of hops and the package was a whole ounce...let's just say that I have no use for storing a half-ounce of hops until it goes stale.

One Part Chemistry, One Part Soupmaking
The first part of the brewing has gone well.  I sparged**, I timed, I dry-hopped, I stirred, I measured, and you'd better believe I disinfected the hell out of my fermentation bucket.  According to the bucket's bubbling one-way valve 20 hours later, alcohol is being pooped out by my industrious yeastly coworkers as I blog.  Thanks, live cultures. 

Next up: bottling.

* There is apparently a substantial contingent of homebrewers who attempt to mimic commercial beers.  The goal is to arrive at a reasonable or even indistinguishable facsimile of a brew available from Guinness, Dogfish Head, Sam Adams, et cetera.  After several passes, refining a basic style recipe (e.g., a British pale ale), the homebrewer will publish their copycat recipe as a form of "Hey!  Try this, it's just like Old Speckled Hen!"

** Sparge is an awesome brewing term for "rinse" that I assume the British made up to sound foppish.

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Protip: Bottling is Hard
Second time out the gate, and I think I have a recipe for bottling:
One (1) pair yellow dishwashing gloves to avoid chemical burns with hardcore cleansers
One (1) partner in crime to deal with the least-fun, most work-intensive step of homebrewing
One (1) beer to calm your nerves during the process. In theory, this should be one from your last batch. I'm not that coordinated yet so I had to settle for an Ommegang Rare Vos. Woe is me.

I apparently didn't copy down the amount of time I need to let it bottle-ferment, so there's research and guesswork in my future.

Due to my deep hatred of disinfecting & rinsing the bottles, I'm going to research the possibility of using growlers next time instead. Wouldn't that be a coup? 10 quick cleans of half-gallon containers is a far cry from the multi-stage drudgery of 50 bottles. Hmm. Anybody know?
I did some research (beeradvocate.com) and discovered that there are basically three things to consider when bottle-conditioning in growlers:

1. The top should be either a Grolsch-style lever top, or a plastic top with a gasket, or a self-made gasket using electrical tape and a metal cap. The lever/flip tops are good because they keep it from exploding (see below), and the metal screw caps cause problems with slow leaks.

2. They can become Beer Bombs and explode. Since shards of flying glass sucks no matter how you cut it, I am very not into this. There are ways to mitigate this issue with priming sugar, etc etc, but the fundamental issue seems to be how sturdy the glass is. There are varieties that are strong and varieties that are not strong.

3. Some growlers are poorly made in a different way: they have a weak point at the bottom lip, causing them to sometimes crack and leak liquid slowly. It's apparently as if the bottom was superglued to the floor, and just that part stays put when you pick it up.

I think I'll stock up on 22s and bombers in order to reduce my bottle count / sanitizing effort. I'll also ask the helpful lady at Party Creations in Red Hook. If I can be steered towards some sturdy growlers that I can trust not to go Boom then we might just have ourselves a party.

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